The Myth of Best Friends

Lately, I have been burning out my writing capabilities in order to meet different deadlines. However, it’s time I take some load off my mind through this one thing I’m good at.

I have been in search of a “best friend” my whole life. It began all the way back in high school, when I grew conscious about the necessity of having friends for the first time.

No, not an emotional necessity. A social necessity.

It’s what people call “peer pressure”, I guess.

I saw people having best friends and thought it’s a “staple” of any teenager’s or young person’s social life. Besides, I’ve always been a big movie buff and we all know how much each relationship is saturated in movies.

Being the naive little idiot, I started my search for the BFF.

What a stupid idea that was.

After the long search expanding over a decade and five unsuccessful attempts, I can assure MYSELF that best friends are a myth.

I know, it has worked out for most people. But for someone as damaged as me, it will always be an annoying myth.

Since childhood, I have been emotionally abused by family members and certain classmates. They trained me to believe that I am the biggest dumbhead on earth who is completely incapable of surviving this world.

So, naturally, I have been insecure my whole life. I’m extremely vulnerable. My confidence level was below zero my entire student life.

Now imagine someone this vulnerable being without any friends. It’s even more scary, right?

That’s why I really wanted to save myself from more trouble than I already had. Among the emotional abuse at home and the staggering pressure of classes, I just wanted a space for some happiness.

I was hoping my friends would be that place but… NOPE!

They had also hurt me. From high school to versity – same story, different characters. They all believed by heart and soul that they know me 100%. They said they know me more than me? LOL.

They made me feel stupid again and again just like my family. They made me cry countless times without ever knowing about it. They made me want to kill myself.

After a long journey of searching for the “BFF” tirelessly, I have come to the conclusion that, I really AM better without friends. Believe it or not.

I have not shared any deeply disturbing or hurtful experience with anyone except my diary these past few weeks. And it has been awesome.

I’m not looking back into the “friends” frenzy anymore. I’m done.

Being alone is a thousand times better than being hurt repeatedly and then forcing yourself to smile.

So if you are an INFP or a genuinely sensitive human like me, I’m telling you, it’s okay to walk away from toxic relationships.

Your sanity and mental health should always come first.