Being A Girl

Photo: Nhung Le

Aunts from childhood taught me a girl should be modest, soft-spoken, kind and willing to compromise in any situation. As I reached teenage, I sensed a misleading concept in that mentality – “why should only the women compromise?”. After I escaped the confusing period of teenage, I came across many ladies who confidently stand against the current and run after their dreams like their life depends on it.

And that is where I lost myself. The typical concept of society on what a girl should be like completely contradicts all the women I have admired.

Photo: Nhung Le
Photo: Nhung Le

In order to fit into the society and be “normal”, I taught myself to be compromising in life. When someone criticized me or tried to shame me, I didn’t speak up. For some reason, I was taught that this is the way a woman should react to negative words – stay quiet. So even if it bothered me, I kept my head down or looked the other way and ignored whoever was uttering the hurtful words.

My mother was like this too and everyone unanimously calls her a perfect woman. She was incredibly kind towards all beings and was certainly the best human being I’ve ever known. However, the way her softness of mind was exploited by the world and she still kept quiet, bothered me deeply. I honestly don’t think any woman should be like that, ever.

You may be poor, you may be rich. Maybe the world considers you an epitome of beauty, or maybe the world thinks you are not attractive enough. Maybe you are a teenager or a mother of one. Wherever you stand in the social strata and demographics, please never lower your voice or adopt the method of silence when the world is scrutinizing you.

I have struggled most of life finding my place in the power pyramid of humans and most of the time people convinced me – being female is a disadvantage. Wherever you go, people will try to grope you, tease you, highlight your bad decisions in life etc. The same doesn’t happen to guys because apparently, they have the freedom to be “bad”. As bad as they want, or even worse than anybody can imagine. Only women have the burden of being “righteous”. The way this “righteousness” has been weakening us and our self-confidence for ages is no joke. I myself have been a victim of such self-destructive mentality.

At the end of my journey of self-discovery I have realized, being a female should not drag you down to a bottomless pit. Gender of any human being comes second in consideration to any sound mind. You are a human first. God Himself has declared you as one of His best creations. There is no reason for you to measure your worth depending on the sexist scales of society. As long as what is happening around you contradicts your sense of right and wrong, speak up. If you yourself are the victim of such a situation, speak up and don’t let them intimidate you. You are as powerful as the human trying to shame you. You are equally intelligent (if not more) and capable of handling the situation with wit and grace.

Remember these words next time you find yourself doubting your worth. No human should be trained to think low of herself just because of the gender.


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